Arrival

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I’ve waited for these words

Like waiting to roll out my mat

And sink in to child’s pose

Planting my forehead firm against the earth

As if I’m returning to it, the earth, and my body after somehow having floated away

And filling my lungs for the first time deliberately with a breath that I can feel

That’s full

And intentional

As if to say, “I deserve this air.”

“I am worthy of breathing.”

“I am worthy of holding on, of being held on to…”

And of slowly letting go.

These words, like that breath, created in the moments that came before

Yet not knowing what they’d look like, feel like, sound like.

Not existing until I gave them purpose. Meaning.

Rooting me in the moment

Tethering me to reality

Preparing me to stand tall, to rise up and reach

To have my heart cracked open and, in savasana, be receptive to the possibility of peace.

But we can’t skip Act II, or the asanas that make the sweaty, messy middle in the practice of life.

We must live in acceptance of the moments of painful challenges

When all we have is our breath

And the breath of those surrounding us, supporting us,

Giving us permission to stay, and be present

Assuring us that we’ll keep breathing together… that we are all worthy of breathing.

There’s relief in the surrender.

The forward folding, again and again.

When we’re ready and when we think we’re not

When we’d like to stay in our power or be released from our struggle.

Surrendering to what is, making room for what could be, creating space for possibility.

Waiting.  Breathing. Staying or leaving.

We aren’t in control.  There is no arrival. Yet we are here.

In these words

In this breath

In each asana of life

Together.

Rooted in the earth – in all of the lessons of the practices that came before.

Lit by love – a love of forgiveness, grace, and gratitude that lives in our hearts.

The growth, the peace, and the life is in the surrender. In the mess. In the sweat.

I don’t know where I am, or where I’ll be, but I am here. And I am not alone.

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“The key to working through resistance is always a radical inner surrender, a calm determination, and a commitment to letting go.” ~Baron Baptiste

 

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